[the power of a parent and of prayer]

Love this story about the power of a parent:

Ben Carson said of himself, “I was the worst student in my whole fifth-grade class.” One day Ben took a math test with 30 problems. The student behind him corrected it and handed it back. The teacher, Mrs. Williamson, started calling each student’s name for the score. Finally, she got to Ben. Out of embarrassment, he mumbled the answer. Mrs. Williamson, thinking he had said “9,” replied that for Ben to score 9 out of 30 was a wonderful improvement. The student behind Ben then yelled out, “Not nine! … He got none … right.” Ben said he wanted to drop through the floor.

At the same time, Ben’s mother, Sonya, faced obstacles of her own. She was one of 24 children, had only a third-grade education, and could not read. She was married at age 13, was divorced, had two sons, and was raising them in the ghettos of Detroit. Nonetheless, she was fiercely self-reliant and had a firm belief that God would help her and her sons if they did their part.

One day a turning point came in her life and that of her sons. It dawned on her that successful people for whom she cleaned homes had libraries—they read. After work she went home and turned off the television that Ben and his brother were watching. She said in essence: You boys are watching too much television. From now on you can watch three programs a week. In your free time you will go to the library—read two books a week and give me a report.

The boys were shocked. Ben said he had never read a book in his entire life except when required to do so at school. They protested, they complained, they argued, but it was to no avail. Then Ben reflected, “She laid down the law. I didn’t like the rule, but her determination to see us improve changed the course of my life.”

And what a change it made. By the seventh grade he was at the top of his class. He went on to attend Yale University on a scholarship, then Johns Hopkins medical school, where at age 33 he became its chief of pediatric neurosurgery and a world-renowned surgeon. How was that possible? Largely because of a mother who, without many of the advantages of life, magnified her calling as a parent.

You can read Ben Carson's biography here.

I got that story from Tad R. Callister's General Conference talk. In his talk, he also shares a wonderful story from his youth:

One of the most meaningful things we can do as parents is teach our children the power of prayer, not just the routine of prayer. When I was about 17 years of age, I was kneeling by my bed, saying my evening prayers. Unbeknown to me, my mother was standing in the doorway. When I finished, she said, “Tad, are you asking the Lord to help you find a good wife?”

Her question caught me totally off guard. That was the furthest thing from my mind. I was thinking about basketball and school. And so, I replied, “No,” to which she responded, “Well, you should, Son; it will be the most important decision you will ever make.” Those words sunk deep into my heart, and so for the next six years, I prayed that God would help me find a good wife. And, oh, how He answered that prayer.

So much important wisdom in Tad R. Callister's talk. Here's one more quote:

[an amazing man!]

I absolutely, completely, totally love this talk by Elder Holland! 
(click the link to read the talk)

Elder Holland is one my most favorite people on earth. I love him so dearly even though I have never met him. He has taught me so much! I love how humble he is. He is always willing to share his "I'm not perfect" moments for our edification. Look how far he has come! He wasn't an Apostle when he gave this talk (he was ordained as an Apostle in 1994) but he was one in the making. I couldn't imagine a more caring, loving, kind person. I can picture the Savior in my mind when I think of him.

Maybe I should start an Elder Holland Fan Club...

Love him!

[another great book]

Yes, I often have multiple books on the go. :)

This book has a chapter on 52 questions in the Book of Mormon. I was reading about the question "Have ye inquired of the Lord?" last night and I like what it says about how sometimes when we ask God something, He doesn't give a "yes" or "no" answer but kind of leaves us to figure it out on our own. Here's a quote from the book:

"But what about a yellow light? What about when we pray and do not receive a clear "yes" or "no"? We may receive a "maybe" answer - or no response at all. Does that mean the Lord doesn't care about us or that the question we are struggling with is not important enough for Him to guide us? Although we often interpret "yellow light" answers [versus red or green light] in this way, those may not be the messages God intends. Instead of viewing a yellow light answer as evidence that God is distant and doesn't care about us or our concerns, one possibility is that we may view it as evidence that God trusts us. We've made good decisions before, and He knows we can make good decisions again. Other possibilities are that perhaps the Lord wants us to gather more information or that the timing is not right.

Elder John H. Groberg taught, "Because the Lord knows we need the growth, He generally does not point out the clear direction. But if a decision is wrong, He will let us know - we will feel it for sure. I am positive of that. So rather than saying, 'I will not move until I have this burning in my heart,' let us turn it around and say, 'I will move unless I feel it is wrong.'"

Here are couple more quotes from the "Soft-Spoken Parent" book:

[omit anger from your life]

I have only read one chapter of this book so far but I can already tell this will be one of my favorite books ever. 

As parents, we often justify our angry outbursts towards our children when they aren't listening or if they aren't doing what they are supposed to be doing.

But anger does NOT help our children to respond positively and it really is just a destructive way to force our children to "do what they are told".

There is a much better way and this book shows you how.

The gospel way is ALWAYS the best way. Always.

Here is just one quote to start with but I'm sure I will be sharing many more in the future.

"Experience teaches me that when I have been angry, I am quite sure I did not have the Holy Ghost, and I was not in any proper condition to administer reproof. It took me quite a long while to learn that. When I became excited, fanatical, and over-zealous, I mistakenly thought it was the Spirit of the Lord, but have learned better, as the Holy Ghost does not operate that way. My testimony is that the internal fruits of the Holy Ghost are joy, peace, patience, long suffering, and kindness."

J. Golden Kimball

One more:

[You might be a good mother after all...]

LOVED this book!

This is what it says about the book:

"How are you doing as a mom? If you're like most of us, you base your assessment on appearances: how the children are behaving, the progress they're making, the evidences you see that they're moving forward. After all, as Matthew 7:17 tells us, "By their fruits ye shall know them."

But appearances can be deceiving, and they don't always tell us the whole story. As Emily Watts points out, most fruit isn't really very good until it's ripe - and "children are the slowest-ripening fruit there is." Using examples from the scriptures and her own life experiences, Emily will help you find the patience with yourself - and with your children - that you need to stay afloat on difficult mothering days. You'll laugh, you'll recognize your own challenges, and you'll feel the peace that comes from knowing that Heavenly Father is in charge and stands willing to help all along the way."

Couple of quotes from the book:

[such a great book!]

I can't praise this book enough! Love it! The chapter "Building Long-Term Relationships" blew my mind! Kind of what my soul has tried to tell me but there it was, black & white, explained so clearly!

Being a parent is the most joyful thing but it's also the hardest thing you'll ever do. I used to joke that babies should come with instruction manuals. Well, they sort of do! We don't have to listen to the world's experts and their changing views on the topic. We can turn to the scriptures to guide us in this great responsibility. Sure we can learn some great tips and techniques on raising a child from so called experts. But the scriptures point a higher, a better way. A more exalted way. 

My eyes have been opened to this better way. I just wish that I can remember all the lessons I learned from this book and put those lessons into practice in my own parenting. After reading this book, I will open my scriptures when I have a challenging question about parenting.

Here are just a couple of quotes from this book:

[a successful parent quote]

How to use my freebies.

[there is an instruction manual]

I'm really enjoying rereading S. Michael Wilcox's book "What the Scriptures Teach Us about Raising a Child". So many great insights in the book about using the gospel to be a better parent. I've often joked that babies should come with an instruction manual. Well, they do: the scriptures. 

I just read a part in the book that talks about how Heavenly Father told Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden "Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it." So there were many trees to eat from (many choices of things to do) and only one tree was off-limits. Then Lucifer enters the garden and says "Yea, hath God said - Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?" Satan wants us to focus on the one thing we shouldn't do and forget about the many things we can do. So often we warn our children of the "do nots" instead of talk about the many "dos" that will bring them much happiness and joy. Yes, the warning needs to be there but there should be much talk about things that really bring us joy. "If one movie is not up to our standards, can we not point out ten that are?", Wilcox says. It's just a great reminder to show the positiveness of the gospel instead of focusing on the "thou shalt nots". Such a good book!

Here's a quote from Brigham Young (love him!) which I found in the book too:

"You may, figuratively speaking, pound one Elder over the head with a club, and he does not know but what you have handed him a straw dipped in molasses to suck. There are others, if you speak a word to them, or take a straw and chasten them, whose hearts are broken; they are as tender in their feelings as an infant, and will melt like wax before the flame. You must not chasten them severely; you must chasten according to the spirit that is in the person... There is a great variety. Treat people as they are."

Each child is unique. What works for one child, might not work for the other one. We must know our children and nourish and admonish them according to their personality.

[arm them]

[parental training]

How to use my freebies.

[forgiveness on both ends]

How to use my freebies.