[family proclamation]

 

[the importance of families]

 

[such a lovely man of God!]

I'm reading about Elder L. Tom Perry's life (1922 - 2015) and thought I'd share these two stories that I especially enjoyed.

When Tom and his family moved to the East Coast for work, they began searching for homes close to his place of employment. As house hunting continued, they started looking further away. At long last they found a house that the whole family fell in love with. It was a beautiful one-story home nestled in the deep woods of Connecticut. The final test was to try out the commute. Tom returned home discouraged. The commute had been an hour and a half each way.

He posed the problem to his family, saying they could have either the house or a father. Their response surprised him. “We will take the house,” they said. “You are never around much anyway.”

This was a turning point for Tom. “I needed to repent fast,” he said. “My children needed a father who was home more.” He took the lesson to heart. “I changed my work habits to allow me to have more time with my family.”

Elder Perry made friends wherever he went. A story from his life illustrates his ability to form friendships in virtually any setting. After he and his family moved to New York City for work, he noticed how people kept to themselves on the streets and in the subways.

Tom devised a plan in his morning commute to get acquainted with somebody. He watched a man at his subway stop who went through the same routine each morning. The man arrived at the same time, bought a newspaper, stood at the same spot on the train platform, and sat in the same seat on the subway each day without variation.

Tom wanted to shake things up and see if he could form a friendship. He showed up early one day and stood on this man’s favorite platform location. Then he sat in the man’s preferred subway seat. After two days of doing this, Tom showed up to find the man had arrived earlier than usual and had claimed his spot on the platform. The man gave a little sneer at Tom, who then walked over and started laughing as he explained what he’d been doing.

“He thought that was the greatest thing he’d ever heard of,” Elder Perry said. He and the man got on the train and rode together. They soon became great friends. Each morning it was a race to see who could reach the platform first. Soon the race expanded to three, then four, then ten commuters hustling good-naturedly to claim the prized spot.

“It livened up the whole platform,” Elder Perry said. Throughout the process, all involved became a close-knit group. One Christmas about ten of them stood on the platform singing Christmas carols together. “I developed some of the greatest friends I’ve ever had.”

Read the full article here.

[what matters most]

"In the routine of life, we often take our families - our parents and children and siblings - for granted. But in times of danger and need and change, there is no question that what we care about most is our families!"

"Our family-centered perspective should make Latter-day Saints strive to be the best parents in the world. It should give us enormous respect for our children, who truly are our spiritual siblings, and it should cause us to devote whatever time is necessary to strengthen our families. Indeed, nothing is more critically connected to happiness - both our own and that of our children - than how well we love and support one another within the family."

Elder M. Russell Ballard

October 2005 General Conference

[written for our day]

[save the family, save the society]

This talk by President Spencer W. Kimball at the 1980 October General Conference is so prophetic. Families are being destroyed in the world and people don't even realize what a tragedy is happening all around us. Such an important talk!

From the beginning, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has emphasized family life. We have always understood that the foundations of the family, as an eternal unit, were laid even before this earth was created! Society without basic family life is without foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness.

Therefore, whenever anything so basic as the eternal family is imperiled, we have a solemn obligation to speak out, lest there be critical damage to the family institution by those who seem to be deliberately destructive of it.

The commandments and standards of morality set by the Lord himself are under attack on every hand. There are false teachers everywhere using speech and pornographic literature, magazines, radio, TV, street talk—spreading heresies which break down moral standards.

Because of the seriousness of this matter, I have prepared an article for the November 1980 Ensign and New Era magazines in which I speak out frankly and at length on the subject of morality. This is a grave responsibility, and not an easy one. I encourage all Latter-day Saints to read this special message.

We are living in perilous times as more and more individuals dishonor the marriage vow and as juvenile delinquency mounts. Divorces in the United States are up over 65 percent since 1970. The number of unmarried couples living together has gone up over 157 percent during the past decade. Many more children are growing up without having both parents in the home. In 1979, almost one of every five families with children was being maintained by one parent.

Abortion has reached plague proportions. There have been, for instance, “more deaths from abortion in England in the decade since the English Abortion Act than there were deaths in the First World War.” Of this, Malcolm Muggeridge said:

“I was brought up to believe that one of the great troubles of our Western world was that in the First World War we lost the flower of our population. Well, now we have destroyed an equivalent number of lives in the name of humane principles, before they were even born.” (Human Life Review,Summer 1980, p. 74.)

Furthermore, many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.

Whether from inadvertence, ignorance, or other causes, the efforts governments often make (ostensibly to help the family) sometimes only hurt the family more. There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. The more governments try in vain to take the place of the family, the less effective governments will be in performing the traditional and basic roles for which governments are formed in the first place.

Whether we like it or not, so many of the difficulties which beset the family today stem from the breaking of the seventh commandment (seeEx. 20:14). Total chastity before marriage and total fidelity after are still the standard from which there can be no deviation without sin, misery, and unhappiness. The breaking of the seventh commandment usually means the breaking of one or more homes.

Delinquent adults still tend to produce delinquent children, and that awful reality will not change simply by our lowering standards as to what constitutes delinquency—either in adults, youth, or children.

We of all people, brothers and sisters, should not be taken in by the specious arguments that the family unit is somehow tied to a particular phase of development a mortal society is going through. We are free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the family and which play up the significance of selfish individualism. We know the family to be eternal. We know that when things go wrong in the family, things go wrong in every other institution in society.

Those who, whether in ignorance or malice, attack the family are setting in motion an awful and needless cycle of misery and despair, for they will search in vain and pain for substitutes, and the wisdom of the worldly wise shall perish publicly for their folly concerning the family.

The decline in many of our families is occurring at a time when the nations of the world are moving into some of the most difficult times known.

Permissiveness will not pull us through such crises. Materialism will not sustain us, for moth and rust will still lay waste and corrupt all mortal treasures.

Our political institutions—parliaments, congresses, and assemblies—cannot rescue us if our basic institution, the family, is not intact. Peace treaties cannot save us when there is hostility instead of love in the home. Unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are no longer taught how to work or do not have the opportunity to work or the inclination, in some cases, to do so. Law enforcement cannot safeguard us if too many people are unwilling to discipline themselves or be disciplined.

Rising generations who have been taught that authority and loving discipline are wrong will not keep the fifth commandment, honoring their fathers and mothers (see Ex. 20:12). How can the rising generations honor their parents if their parents have dishonored themselves—especially by breaking the seventh commandment?

Almost every array of statistics one sees with regard to the family becomes a sad sermon in statistics, reminding us of the need to stem and to turn the tide.

Let us be sure, in our Latter-day Saint homes, that we do our part to stem and to turn the tide.

Again, I urge you to be diligent in recording your personal and family histories. We are pleased with the success of the recent World Conference on Records, where more than eleven thousand people from over thirty nations around the globe gathered to share and learn concerning personal record keeping. In this, let us be an example to others and reap the benefits of stronger family units as we preserve our heritage.

We hope our parents are using the added time that has come from the consolidated schedule in order to be with, teach, love, and nurture their children. We hope you have not forgotten the need for family activity and recreation, for which time is also provided. Let your love of each member of your family be unconditional. Where there are challenges, you fail only if you fail to keep trying!

We genuinely welcome help, real help, from churches, schools, colleges, and universities, from thoughtful men and women of every race, creed, and culture who care about the family. But, as indicated earlier, if the supporting network of institutions does not function adequately, then we will do our part anyway. There is no lack of clarity in what the Lord has told us. We cannot shirk. He has placed the responsibility directly where it belongs, and he holds us accountable with regard to the duties of parents to teach their children correct principles and of the need to walk uprightly before the Lord—and there is no substitute for teaching our children by the eloquence of example.

Oh, brothers and sisters, families can be forever! Do not let the lures of the moment draw you away from them! Divinity, eternity, and family—they go together, hand in hand, and so must we!

I bear you my solemn witness that God lives, that Jesus Christ lives, and that he is our Savior and Redeemer. I leave you my love and my blessings, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

How to use my freebies.

[study page #2]

Here's another gospel study page. This goes with the paragraph "The Gospel Blesses Families" on page 32 of Preach My Gospel manual.

To use the study page, just click on the image and a larger version of it will open up. Right click the picture. Either "copy" and "paste" the picture onto a Microsoft Word document or save the picture as a JPG file in your computer and then import it to Microsoft Word.

[children's suffering]

[image via Google image search]

There is one issue that especially breaks my heart when I think about it: children who suffer. 

I was reading Elder Dallin H. Oaks' October 2012 conference talk titled "Protect the Children" and here are some sad facts that brought tears in my eyes and broke my heart.

Many children are abducted from their homes and forced to serve as soldiers.

Over two million children are victimized each year through prostitution and pornography.

More than 40 million abortions per year. (Tragic irony as countless infertile couples long for and seek babies to adopt.)

Fetal impairments that result from the mother's inadequate nutrition or drug use. (The law doesn't acknowledge a fetus as a person so that abortions can be performed. This prevents the government to do anything about alcohol and drug abuse induced impairments that are costing millions to society and ruin so many children's lives permanently.)

Almost eight million children die before their fifth birthday, mostly from diseases both treatable and preventable.

One in four children have stunted growth, mentally and physically, because of inadequate nutrition.

41 percent of all births in the United States were to women who were not married.

Many children suffer from psychological abuse. "Parents or other caregivers or teachers or peers who demean, bully, or humiliate children or youth can inflict harm more permanent than physical injury. Making a child or youth feel worthless, unloved, or unwanted can inflict serious and long-lasting injury on his or her emotional well-being and development. Young people struggling with any exceptional condition, including same-gender attraction, are particularly vulnerable and need loving understanding—not bullying or ostracism."

Here are some sad examples of children suffering:

"Living and traveling internationally, we Church leaders see much of this. The general presidency of the Primary report children living in conditions “beyond our imaginations.” A mother in the Philippines said: “Sometimes we do not have enough money for food, but that is all right because it gives me the opportunity to teach my children about faith. We gather and pray for relief, and the children see the Lord bless us.” In South Africa, a Primary worker met a little girl, lonely and sad. In faint responses to loving questions, she said she had no mother, no father, and no grandmother—only a grandfather to care for her. Such tragedies are common on a continent where many caregivers have died of AIDS.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland recently shared the experience of an LDS police officer. In an investigation he found five young children huddled together and trying to sleep without bedding on a filthy floor in a dwelling where their mother and others were drinking and partying. The apartment had no food to relieve their hunger. After tucking the children into a makeshift bed, the officer knelt and prayed for their protection. As he walked toward the door, one of them, about six, pursued him, grabbed him by the hand, and pleaded, “Will you please adopt me?”

Some more quotes from Elder Oaks' talk:

"Of utmost importance to the well-being of children is whether their parents were married, the nature and duration of the marriage, and, more broadly, the culture and expectations of marriage and child care where they live. Two scholars of the family explain: “Throughout history, marriage has first and foremost been an institution for procreation and raising children. It has provided the cultural tie that seeks to connect the father to his children by binding him to the mother of his children. Yet in recent times, children have increasingly been pushed from center stage.”

"There are surely cases when a divorce is necessary for the good of the children, but those circumstances are exceptional. In most marital contests the contending parents should give much greater weight to the interests of the children."

"We also need politicians, policy makers, and officials to increase their attention to what is best for children in contrast to the selfish interests of voters and vocal advocates of adult interests."

"For children, the relative stability of marriage matters."

"I have spoken for children—children everywhere. Some may reject some of these examples, but none should resist the plea that we unite to increase our concern for the welfare and future of our children—the rising generation. 

We are speaking of the children of God, and with His powerful help, we can do more to help them."

Click here for the full talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks who worked as a justice of a Supreme Court prior to becoming an Apostle for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and has seen first hand all kinds of child abuse and neglect. 

{ultimate hope}

"Just as doubt, despair, and desensitization go together, so do faith, hope, charity, and patience. The latter qualities must be carefully and constantly nurtured, however, whereas doubt and despair, like dandelions, need little encouragement in order to sprout and spread. Alas, despair comes so naturally to the natural man!"

"...viewing life without the prospect of immortality can diminish not only hope but also the sense of personal accountability."

"Nevertheless, because proximate hopes are so vulnerable to irony and the unexpected, there is an increasing and profound sense of existential despair in the world. A grumpy cynicism now pervades politics. Many feel burdened by society's other accumulating anxieties.

Even those who are spiritually secure themselves can sense the chill in the air."

"Much as I lament the gathering storms, there will be some usefulness in them. Events will help to draw fresh attention to God's higher ways..."

"...in this hastened ripening process, let us not be surprised that the tares are looking more like tares all the time."

"Though otherwise a "lively" attribute, hope stands quietly with us at funerals. Our tears are just as wet, but not because of despair. Rather, they are tears of heightened appreciation evoked by poignant separation. Those tears of separation change, ere long, becoming tears of glorious anticipation."

"Real hope inspires quiet Christian service, not flashy public fanaticism."

"...when we are unduly impatient with an omniscient God's timing, we really are suggesting that we know what is best."

"The truly hopeful, for instance, work amid surrounding decay at having strong and happy families."

"We may not be able to fix the whole world, but we can strive to fix what may be amiss in our own families."

"...plow in hope," not looking back..."

"...more loving even while the love of many waxes cold. We are to be more holy, even as the world ripens in iniquity; more courteous and patient in a coarsening and curt world, and to be of strong hearts even when the hearts of others fail them."

"...never mind that the world will become more bipolar as between those who are secular and permissive and those who hold spiritual values."

Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Ensign, November 1998

{priorities}

When Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve was in law school, he had to make the most of limited time with his daughters. He recalls, "My favorite play activity with the little girls was 'daddy be a bear.' When I came home from my studies for a few minutes at lunch and dinnertime, I would set my books on the table and drop down on all fours on the linoleum. Then, making the most terrible growls, I would crawl around the floor after the children, who fled with screams, but always begged for more."

Dallin H. Oaks, "The Student Body and the President", in Brigham Young University 1975 Speeches

Some info on Elder Oaks:

Jay teaches seminary at the moment and today a person came from Salt Lake who closely works with Elder Oaks. He told the class that Elder Oaks wakes up at 4am each morning and studies the scriptures for an hour. Then he goes for a long run with his wife.

{take especial care of your family}

"Note several terrible trends which, if uncorrected, will produce an even worse coalition of consequences.

*In ten years, one-half of all children born in America will be illegitimate.

*More and more children have no functioning fathers. Already 70% of our juvenile criminals come from fatherless homes.

*Less than half of all children born today will live continuously with their own mother and father throughout childhood."

*One-fourth of all adolescents... contract a sexually transmitted disease before they graduate from high school."

"Healthy, traditional families are becoming an endangered species!"

"As parenting declines, the need for policing increases. There will always be a shortage of police if there is a shortage of effective parents! Likewise, there will not be enough prisons if there are not enough good homes."

"Latter-day Saints therefore have no choice but to stand up and to speak up whenever the institution of the family is concerned, even if we are misunderstood, resented, or brushed aside."

"However, as Latter-day Saints, we need to do better in our families - much better! There should be less wringing of hands and more loving arms around our families."

..."there is an emerging but unjustified tendency to treat children as if they have the capacity for unrestricted adult experience."

..."we stress again and again the available remedies of family prayers, family home evenings, and family scripture study. Moreover, personal revelation regarding parenting can provide customized guidance and reassurance!"

"Applying basic remedies will take some time and will not fix everything immediately. What could be more basic, however, than "love at home", when annually in America there are four million reports of domestic violence, rivaling the number of births in America! Violence in America now kills "the equivalent of a classroomful" of children "every two days."

"In the healthy family, first and best, we can learn to listen, forgive, praise, and to rejoice in the achievements of others. There also we can learn to tame our egos, work, repent, and love. In families with spiritual perspective, yesterday need not hold tomorrow hostage. If we sometimes act the fool, loving families know this is not oru last act; the curtain is not rung down."

"Parents and grandparents, please scrutinize your schedules and priorities in order to ensure that life's prime relationships get more prime time! Even consecrated and devoted Brigham Young was once told by the Lord, "Take especial care of your family" (D&C 126:3) Sometimes, it is the most conscientious who need this message the most!"

"As the number of dysfunctional families increases, their failures will spill into already burdened schools and streets. It is not a pretty scene even now."

Elder Neal A. Maxwell

May 1994 Ensign



{deny yourselves of all ungodliness}

..."consider the subsequent and sobering tragedy of children having children, of unwed mothers, of children without parents, of hundreds of thousands of fatherless children, and of rampant spousal infidelity... Yet carnalists are unwilling to deny themselves, even though all of society suffers from an awful avalanche of consequences!"

"In Proverbs, we read, "For the commandment is a lamp". Once darkened, a society loses its capacity to distinguish between right and wrong... A society which permits anything will eventually lose everything!"

"Gross sins arise ominously and steadily out of the swamp of self-indulgence and self-pity."

"Sadly, too, a few envy the wicked."

"Ironically, in all their eagerness to experience certain things, hedonists, become desensitized."

..."some worry only about holes in the ozone layer, while the fabric of many families who lack the lamp resembles Swiss cheese."

"Many things will not get better until we have better families, but this will require much more self-denial, not less."

..."end up with more protected pornography than protected children."

..."urging self-restraint on hedonists is like discouraging Dracula from hanging around the blood bank!"

"All things considered, brothers and sisters, to whom did David deal the greater blow, Goliath or Uriah? Or himself?"

"...God's second commandment, love thy neighbor, clearly leaves no room for racism."

"So it is that real, personal sacrifice never was placing an animal on the altar. Instead, it is a willingness to put the animal in us upon the altar and letting it be consumed!"

Elder Neal A. Maxwell

May 1995 Ensign