[positive attitude]

The best thing about living a Christ-centered life, however, is how it makes you feel—inside. It’s hard to have a negative attitude about things if and when your life is focused on the Prince of Peace. There will still be problems. Everyone has them. But faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is a power to be reckoned with in the universe and in individual lives. It can be a causative force through which miracles are wrought. It can also be a source of inner strength through which we find self-esteem, peace of mind, contentment, and the courage to cope. I have seen marriages saved, families strengthened, tragedies overcome, careers energized, and the will to go on living rekindled as people humble themselves before the Lord and accept His will in their lives. Heartache, tragedy, and trauma of all kinds can be focused and managed when the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ are understood and applied.  

(M. Russell Ballard, Our Search for Happiness,[Deseret Book, 1993], 15.)

[save the family, save the society]

This talk by President Spencer W. Kimball at the 1980 October General Conference is so prophetic. Families are being destroyed in the world and people don't even realize what a tragedy is happening all around us. Such an important talk!

From the beginning, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has emphasized family life. We have always understood that the foundations of the family, as an eternal unit, were laid even before this earth was created! Society without basic family life is without foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness.

Therefore, whenever anything so basic as the eternal family is imperiled, we have a solemn obligation to speak out, lest there be critical damage to the family institution by those who seem to be deliberately destructive of it.

The commandments and standards of morality set by the Lord himself are under attack on every hand. There are false teachers everywhere using speech and pornographic literature, magazines, radio, TV, street talk—spreading heresies which break down moral standards.

Because of the seriousness of this matter, I have prepared an article for the November 1980 Ensign and New Era magazines in which I speak out frankly and at length on the subject of morality. This is a grave responsibility, and not an easy one. I encourage all Latter-day Saints to read this special message.

We are living in perilous times as more and more individuals dishonor the marriage vow and as juvenile delinquency mounts. Divorces in the United States are up over 65 percent since 1970. The number of unmarried couples living together has gone up over 157 percent during the past decade. Many more children are growing up without having both parents in the home. In 1979, almost one of every five families with children was being maintained by one parent.

Abortion has reached plague proportions. There have been, for instance, “more deaths from abortion in England in the decade since the English Abortion Act than there were deaths in the First World War.” Of this, Malcolm Muggeridge said:

“I was brought up to believe that one of the great troubles of our Western world was that in the First World War we lost the flower of our population. Well, now we have destroyed an equivalent number of lives in the name of humane principles, before they were even born.” (Human Life Review,Summer 1980, p. 74.)

Furthermore, many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.

Whether from inadvertence, ignorance, or other causes, the efforts governments often make (ostensibly to help the family) sometimes only hurt the family more. There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. The more governments try in vain to take the place of the family, the less effective governments will be in performing the traditional and basic roles for which governments are formed in the first place.

Whether we like it or not, so many of the difficulties which beset the family today stem from the breaking of the seventh commandment (seeEx. 20:14). Total chastity before marriage and total fidelity after are still the standard from which there can be no deviation without sin, misery, and unhappiness. The breaking of the seventh commandment usually means the breaking of one or more homes.

Delinquent adults still tend to produce delinquent children, and that awful reality will not change simply by our lowering standards as to what constitutes delinquency—either in adults, youth, or children.

We of all people, brothers and sisters, should not be taken in by the specious arguments that the family unit is somehow tied to a particular phase of development a mortal society is going through. We are free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the family and which play up the significance of selfish individualism. We know the family to be eternal. We know that when things go wrong in the family, things go wrong in every other institution in society.

Those who, whether in ignorance or malice, attack the family are setting in motion an awful and needless cycle of misery and despair, for they will search in vain and pain for substitutes, and the wisdom of the worldly wise shall perish publicly for their folly concerning the family.

The decline in many of our families is occurring at a time when the nations of the world are moving into some of the most difficult times known.

Permissiveness will not pull us through such crises. Materialism will not sustain us, for moth and rust will still lay waste and corrupt all mortal treasures.

Our political institutions—parliaments, congresses, and assemblies—cannot rescue us if our basic institution, the family, is not intact. Peace treaties cannot save us when there is hostility instead of love in the home. Unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are no longer taught how to work or do not have the opportunity to work or the inclination, in some cases, to do so. Law enforcement cannot safeguard us if too many people are unwilling to discipline themselves or be disciplined.

Rising generations who have been taught that authority and loving discipline are wrong will not keep the fifth commandment, honoring their fathers and mothers (see Ex. 20:12). How can the rising generations honor their parents if their parents have dishonored themselves—especially by breaking the seventh commandment?

Almost every array of statistics one sees with regard to the family becomes a sad sermon in statistics, reminding us of the need to stem and to turn the tide.

Let us be sure, in our Latter-day Saint homes, that we do our part to stem and to turn the tide.

Again, I urge you to be diligent in recording your personal and family histories. We are pleased with the success of the recent World Conference on Records, where more than eleven thousand people from over thirty nations around the globe gathered to share and learn concerning personal record keeping. In this, let us be an example to others and reap the benefits of stronger family units as we preserve our heritage.

We hope our parents are using the added time that has come from the consolidated schedule in order to be with, teach, love, and nurture their children. We hope you have not forgotten the need for family activity and recreation, for which time is also provided. Let your love of each member of your family be unconditional. Where there are challenges, you fail only if you fail to keep trying!

We genuinely welcome help, real help, from churches, schools, colleges, and universities, from thoughtful men and women of every race, creed, and culture who care about the family. But, as indicated earlier, if the supporting network of institutions does not function adequately, then we will do our part anyway. There is no lack of clarity in what the Lord has told us. We cannot shirk. He has placed the responsibility directly where it belongs, and he holds us accountable with regard to the duties of parents to teach their children correct principles and of the need to walk uprightly before the Lord—and there is no substitute for teaching our children by the eloquence of example.

Oh, brothers and sisters, families can be forever! Do not let the lures of the moment draw you away from them! Divinity, eternity, and family—they go together, hand in hand, and so must we!

I bear you my solemn witness that God lives, that Jesus Christ lives, and that he is our Savior and Redeemer. I leave you my love and my blessings, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

How to use my freebies.

[my two - no wait - make it 100 cents]

I want to write about a topic that has been on my mind lots lately: same sex marriage.

I find that there is so much misunderstanding about my view on this topic. I’m after all one of the many who don’t believe in same sex marriage. I’m going to do my best to try to explain my side of this issue.

I belong to a church that teaches that same sex relationships are against God’s laws. God’s laws are there for a reason. Just like children don’t always understand why their parents say no to some things they want to do, so it is with us here on earth. We don’t see the eternal picture. We only see this short, mortal life. Sometimes we don’t understand why God gives certain laws. The more spiritual knowledge and understanding a person gets, the easier it becomes to see why God has given us certain laws. Spiritual maturity comes with study, prayer, life experience and trying to live the gospel. People who don’t understand the gospel (which basically is God’s plan for our happiness), won’t understand many of the gospel laws. Those people will see some of God’s laws as silly restrictions or even mean spirited, “non-loving”, rules. Exactly as children sometimes feel when their parents are saying no to something they want to do. Because they are young, they don’t yet fully understand why the parent is saying no to them. They don’t see the protection and wisdom behind the rules yet. Eventually they gain life experience and then they will understand why the parent said no to them. Thus it is with God and us. With our limited perspective, it might be hard to understand why we shouldn’t live exactly as we please. Only with that spiritual maturity will we understand the “why” behind the “no”. I hope this makes sense. I’ve never been very good with words.

Many Christians believe that same sex relationships are against God’s laws. However, there are many different kinds of Christians out there. Some are the kind who think “I’m holier (better) than thou. You are so bad because you break God’s laws.” Some defend their faith by being mean spirited and discriminating. Some Christians even believe that it’s ok to shun someone who isn’t living the way they should. They cut those people out of their lives and show their judgment against even loved ones in this most cruel manner. Some Christians become so self-righteous that they spew venom around them for anyone who seems to live differently from them.

Well, I believe that being a Christian means something totally different. I believe that many Christians aren’t Christians at all. To me, a Christian is someone who tries to follow Jesus Christ. His teachings and his loving example. It is clear in the scriptures that Jesus Christ would never be mean to someone who struggles with ANY God’s laws. Jesus Christ was all about love and kindness! He taught God’s laws but he was there to uplift and edify people, not to pull them down.

A great example of this is the story of Jesus and the woman taken in adultery. 
John 8: 3 – 11.

“And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?

She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."

Jesus often taught about not judging other.

Matthew 7: 1-3

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

A beam is much bigger than a mote!!

Some wise person has said that there is only one quality a person must have to correctly judge someone else. The person needs to be omniscient which means they know EVERYTHING. Not just what you can see on the outside. But also what is in person’s heart. What sorrows that person bears. What understanding does he or she have. Someone might look “good” on the outside (meaning doing the right things) but could be rotten on the inside (meaning his or hers heart is rotten, nothing good there). Also, someone might look “bad” (especially to some Christians who enjoy judging others) but in reality have a loving, kind heart and is doing their very best to live to the best of his or hers knowledge and understanding.

We need to leave judgment to God. Period! If we truly are Christians, we need to try to live as Jesus Christ lived. Yes, we need to teach what God’s laws are. But we should never, ever be mean or belittling to someone. Our heart should be in the right place: wanting to do good and spreading the “good news” instead of spreading judgment and any kind of hate.

Everyone on this earth is a sinner (which just means that none of us is perfect, we all have our weaknesses and break God’s laws in some way or another). We cannot have an “I’m holier than thou” attitude and then say we are Christians.

If we only let perfect people in the church, every last one of the churches would be empty! We all need Jesus’ Atonement to cover our sins and misdeeds. We need to be merciful and kind if we expect God to be merciful and kind to us. Read the Bible all of you Christians who bash others! Read the Bible! Humble yourself and stop acting like you know it all and that you are somehow better than someone else! Be loving! Be kind! Be merciful! Forgive and forget! Love those around you, don’t put them down! Uplift and edify them, don’t drag them to misery! If you truly want to be a Christian, then be one! Always ask “what would Jesus Christ do in this situation?” If your heart is in the right place, you will see that Jesus would show love, no matter what!

For ANYONE (Christian or not) who hates ANYONE for ANY reason – STOP IT! Stop and ponder what puts that hate in your heart. Does it really make you a better person? Do you really believe that you are a great person when you hate someone? Are you really that silly that you think you are somehow better than someone else? Because of the color of your skin, perhaps? Or your sexual orientation, perhaps? Or because you’re richer, better looking, better dressed, perhaps? Because you believe in certain religion? Because you’re cool and in the “in crowd” at school?

Please. Don’t be ridiculous! You are no better than anyone else! Even the homeless person on the street. You can’t even say that you’re better than them. You haven’t walked in their shoes and gone through what they have gone through.

God is no respecter of people. To Him, we are all His children. He loves us ALL! Yes, He wants to teach us His laws so that we can gain eternal happiness. But God is GOOD and He is LOVE. He will be more merciful to all of us than we could ever imagine. Yes, there will be justice too. If you have ever hurt someone and not repented of that, you will pay for it. Mercy can’t rob justice. But that being said, God loves His children! He will do all in His power to give us any goodness He can possibly bestow upon us or we will accept from Him. All of us. Even the meanest of His children.

When you find yourself thinking that you are somehow better than someone else – pause for a moment and try to think more clearly. How does God see that person? What could make that person act or be certain way? What don’t I know that God knows that would make me see clearer who this person is? Where does hate come from? Is it ok to hate someone? Is it ok to hurt someone?

Just grow up people! Let’s be good to one another. Let’s take care of each other. Let’s uplift and edify each other instead of tear each other down. Let’s choose love over hate.

I feel like I have so much to say on this topic. This is going to be a long post.

Now I want to talk about how the world is treating Christians and others who don’t believe according to the “popular” belief system. Right now it seems that it’s ok to bash Christians and others who believe in God and try to live according to the commandments they feel God has given them. Sitcoms, comedians, you name it, feel it’s ok to bash believers and belittle them. How does that help anything? You think because you “tolerate” something, you can “not tolerate” something else? You think that as long as you speak politically correctly, you can then go ahead and bash some other group of people? How about throwing mud on a happy young Mormon (Latter-Day Saint) couple who just got married in the temple? True story. It has happened many times by people who thus protest what our Church teaches. Is that ok? Is it ok to ruin their special day because of the way they believe? Oh, grow up, people! Can’t we just all live in peace and be kind to everyone? Why is it all of a sudden ok to hate believers and bash them? Even the ones who have been ridiculous in their own “holier than thou” behaviour? How does any kind of bashing or negativeness help this world of ours in any way? Can we just stop the hating and judging already?

Let the Christians and other believers believe the way they do.  Let everyone believe the way they do. If you believe differently, sure, go ahead and try to help someone see things your way. But don’t start spreading hate and intolerance.

If anyone is violent, abusive or discriminating to anyone else, the law should deal with that person. They should pay for their crime of hate.

We should guard the freedom of speech and the freedom of belief. We can’t become tyrants who tell others how to think or what to believe in. We can all just do our best to live a good life and if we believe there is some kind of injustice happening, then sure, speak out. But don’t do it spewing filth and hate. Act like an adult. Respect others. You don’t have to agree with them but you can still be civil towards them. If we stop being civil, then what will happen to our “civilization”? Let me tell you what will happen. Mob behaviour. More hatred. People will become more like animals instead of human beings.

I feel like I should be singing the “Imagine” song. Imagine a better world. Imagine a world where there is no hate. Imagine people living in peace… Call me naïve. Call me a dreamer. But that is the world I’d like to live in!

The schools here in Canada don’t seem to have Christmas concerts any more. To be politically correct, religion is being thrown out of schools. I don’t get it. How does that help tolerance and understanding? Why can’t we celebrate the various cultures and religions instead? I have no problem of our child learning about Hanukkah, Kwanza or whatever else someone believes in. How can we learn to be more tolerant and respectful of others if we don’t learn more about people who are different than us?

After 9-11, I wondered to myself about Muslim terrorists and realized I didn’t know much about Muslims. I couldn’t believe the negative news I heard and wanted to know for myself. Someone can call themselves Muslims (or Christians…) but they might not actually be living their religion. I found a Muslim blogger and read about her faith and her life. The more I learned about her and her faith, the more respect I had for Muslims in general. Same with Jehovah’s Witnesses. You always hear snide remarks about them and it drove me nuts. So next time they knocked on my door, I invited them in and we had some great discussions about faith and religion. I don’t have to believe the way they do, but I can be understanding and respectful of them.

Please don’t believe everything you read or see in media. There are so many lies given to us as “news”. I’ve read/seen so many false things about my own faith/Church, that I have learned to become more critical of the media. Find out for yourself if something you hear is true. Ask yourself “is this really true what they are saying about these people or is this just a way for them to gain readers by being sensationalist?” I figured after 9-11 that the terrorists must be their own group of people as there are millions of Muslim people who live peacefully and kindly among other people. There are always extremists who make others look bad by saying they belong to that faith or group. Use your brain people. Believe that most people on this earth are good and don’t want to hurt others.

But back to the same sex marriage issue. Yes, I need to speak against same sex marriage because according to my faith, marriage should be between a man and a woman as ordained of God. There is a reason for that law. It doesn’t make sense to someone who doesn’t understand the eternal perspective of things. But I have learned to trust God’s laws. There is always a reason for them. 
I don't have a problem granting people in same sex relationships civil unions. Let the state grant them same benefits with their laws, if they so wish. But don't force churches to perform weddings or it would frustrate freedom of belief and freedom of religion.

By the way, I don't go around telling people that "hey, you're living in sin, did you know that?" I will voice my opinion on same sex marriage (or any other issue I feel strongly about) if there is a discussion going on about it. I have my right to believe the way I do. My beliefs and thoughts on this issue come from my spiritual experiences. We all have different experiences and backgrounds that dictate our belief system. 

Rick Warren has said: 

“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”

Now, when it comes to me tolerating people who are in same sex relationships, let me try to explain that too.

I would never condone ANY kind of violence or meanness against ANYONE.

I think everyone has the same right for work (you can’t fire someone because of their sexual orientation or religious belief, etc.), etc.

Someone once asked me why I was listening to music that was sung by people in same sex relationship. Please! If your music is good, I will listen to it. If your show is good, I will watch it. If your work is good, I will adore it.

Then you hear the question “what would you do if your child was in same sex relationship?” Well, my love for my child wouldn’t change at all! She or he is my child. What they do doesn’t change that love in any way. Yes, I might wish that they would believe the way I do (just because I believe that it’s the way to eternal happiness) but I would continue to support and love my child.

I happen to have loved ones/friends who are in same sex relationships. So what? I also have friends who might curse (which I don’t believe in), or might live with someone without being married (which I don’t believe in), or might steal (which I don’t believe in), or might talk badly about someone (which I don’t believe in), or might have an abortion (which I don’t believe in), etc.

I look at myself. I see a person who I believe “has seen the light” and “understands God’s plan for us”. Yet, I often falter and don’t live up to my beliefs. I get angry. I speak crankily. I’m not patient. I get mad at people who drive slowly. I might think badly of someone or criticize them somehow. If I, who I think believe in God and His plan for us, falter so easily, then how can I expect people to always do the right thing when even I can’t? Remember: mote vs. beam. Those people who have more understanding/knowledge are more responsible than those who don’t. Think of juvenile and adult courts for example.

When I meet Heavenly Father after this life, He will probably ask me how much I loved people and how much kindness did I show them. He will probably ask me if I tried to make the world a better place somehow. He will probably forgive me for my million mistakes as He will know that I was trying my best. Which isn’t that great, to be honest. My best, that is. I’m so far from perfect!! But those are the things that will matter. Did I live up to the knowledge I had? Did I do my best? Did I make the world a better place or did I spread hatred and filth? We will all have to answer that kind of questions.

Anyways, maybe I’m done rambling now. I just felt like I needed to get these thoughts off my chest. I have felt so judged because of my beliefs and I felt that I should at least try to explain how I feel about all this. Maybe people will still judge me for believing the way I do (and they have the right to do that) but maybe at least in some small way you understand my point of view better. I have nothing against people in same sex relationships. They are God’s children, just like me. But I do need to speak against same sex marriage. There is a reason for God’s law about same sex relationships. God knows what is best for us. We don’t have the same eternal perspective that He does.

By the way, this is not an official statement by the Church I belong to. These are my ideas and my thoughts. My understanding of this topic. 

[children's suffering]

[image via Google image search]

There is one issue that especially breaks my heart when I think about it: children who suffer. 

I was reading Elder Dallin H. Oaks' October 2012 conference talk titled "Protect the Children" and here are some sad facts that brought tears in my eyes and broke my heart.

Many children are abducted from their homes and forced to serve as soldiers.

Over two million children are victimized each year through prostitution and pornography.

More than 40 million abortions per year. (Tragic irony as countless infertile couples long for and seek babies to adopt.)

Fetal impairments that result from the mother's inadequate nutrition or drug use. (The law doesn't acknowledge a fetus as a person so that abortions can be performed. This prevents the government to do anything about alcohol and drug abuse induced impairments that are costing millions to society and ruin so many children's lives permanently.)

Almost eight million children die before their fifth birthday, mostly from diseases both treatable and preventable.

One in four children have stunted growth, mentally and physically, because of inadequate nutrition.

41 percent of all births in the United States were to women who were not married.

Many children suffer from psychological abuse. "Parents or other caregivers or teachers or peers who demean, bully, or humiliate children or youth can inflict harm more permanent than physical injury. Making a child or youth feel worthless, unloved, or unwanted can inflict serious and long-lasting injury on his or her emotional well-being and development. Young people struggling with any exceptional condition, including same-gender attraction, are particularly vulnerable and need loving understanding—not bullying or ostracism."

Here are some sad examples of children suffering:

"Living and traveling internationally, we Church leaders see much of this. The general presidency of the Primary report children living in conditions “beyond our imaginations.” A mother in the Philippines said: “Sometimes we do not have enough money for food, but that is all right because it gives me the opportunity to teach my children about faith. We gather and pray for relief, and the children see the Lord bless us.” In South Africa, a Primary worker met a little girl, lonely and sad. In faint responses to loving questions, she said she had no mother, no father, and no grandmother—only a grandfather to care for her. Such tragedies are common on a continent where many caregivers have died of AIDS.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland recently shared the experience of an LDS police officer. In an investigation he found five young children huddled together and trying to sleep without bedding on a filthy floor in a dwelling where their mother and others were drinking and partying. The apartment had no food to relieve their hunger. After tucking the children into a makeshift bed, the officer knelt and prayed for their protection. As he walked toward the door, one of them, about six, pursued him, grabbed him by the hand, and pleaded, “Will you please adopt me?”

Some more quotes from Elder Oaks' talk:

"Of utmost importance to the well-being of children is whether their parents were married, the nature and duration of the marriage, and, more broadly, the culture and expectations of marriage and child care where they live. Two scholars of the family explain: “Throughout history, marriage has first and foremost been an institution for procreation and raising children. It has provided the cultural tie that seeks to connect the father to his children by binding him to the mother of his children. Yet in recent times, children have increasingly been pushed from center stage.”

"There are surely cases when a divorce is necessary for the good of the children, but those circumstances are exceptional. In most marital contests the contending parents should give much greater weight to the interests of the children."

"We also need politicians, policy makers, and officials to increase their attention to what is best for children in contrast to the selfish interests of voters and vocal advocates of adult interests."

"For children, the relative stability of marriage matters."

"I have spoken for children—children everywhere. Some may reject some of these examples, but none should resist the plea that we unite to increase our concern for the welfare and future of our children—the rising generation. 

We are speaking of the children of God, and with His powerful help, we can do more to help them."

Click here for the full talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks who worked as a justice of a Supreme Court prior to becoming an Apostle for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and has seen first hand all kinds of child abuse and neglect. 

{a happy marriage}

"A happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one's companion."

President Gordon B. Hinckley

Ensign, May 1991, 73

"Marriage partners must be quick to forgive. If we will sue for peace, taking the initiative in settling differences - if we forgive and forget with all our hearts... if we forgive all real or fancied offenses before we ask forgiveness for our own sins... what a glorious world this would be! Divorce would be reduced to a minimum; courts would be freed from disgusting routines; family life would be heavenly; the building of the kingdom would go forward at an accelerated pace; and the peace which passeth understanding would bring to us all a joy and happiness which has hardly 'entered into the heart of man'."

President Spencer W. Kimball