I want to write about a
topic that has been on my mind lots lately: same sex marriage.
I find that there is so
much misunderstanding about my view on this topic. I’m after all one of the
many who don’t believe in same sex marriage. I’m going to do my best to try to
explain my side of this issue.
I belong to a church that
teaches that same sex relationships are against God’s laws. God’s laws are
there for a reason. Just like children don’t always understand why their
parents say no to some things they want to do, so it is with us here on earth.
We don’t see the eternal picture. We only see this short, mortal life.
Sometimes we don’t understand why God gives certain laws. The more spiritual
knowledge and understanding a person gets, the easier it becomes to see why God
has given us certain laws. Spiritual maturity comes with study, prayer, life
experience and trying to live the gospel. People who don’t understand the
gospel (which basically is God’s plan for our happiness), won’t understand many
of the gospel laws. Those people will see some of God’s laws as silly
restrictions or even mean spirited, “non-loving”, rules. Exactly as children
sometimes feel when their parents are saying no to something they want to do.
Because they are young, they don’t yet fully understand why the parent is
saying no to them. They don’t see the protection and wisdom behind the rules
yet. Eventually they gain life experience and then they will understand why the
parent said no to them. Thus it is with God and us. With our limited
perspective, it might be hard to understand why we shouldn’t live exactly as we
please. Only with that spiritual maturity will we understand the “why” behind
the “no”. I hope this makes sense. I’ve never been very good with words.
Many Christians believe
that same sex relationships are against God’s laws. However, there are many
different kinds of Christians out there. Some are the kind who think “I’m
holier (better) than thou. You are so bad because you break God’s laws.” Some
defend their faith by being mean spirited and discriminating. Some Christians
even believe that it’s ok to shun someone who isn’t living the way they should.
They cut those people out of their lives and show their judgment against even
loved ones in this most cruel manner. Some Christians become so self-righteous
that they spew venom around them for anyone who seems to live differently from
them.
Well, I believe that
being a Christian means something totally different. I believe that many Christians
aren’t Christians at all. To me, a Christian is someone who tries to follow
Jesus Christ. His teachings and his loving example. It is clear in the
scriptures that Jesus Christ would never be mean to someone who struggles with
ANY God’s laws. Jesus Christ was all about love and kindness! He taught God’s
laws but he was there to uplift and edify people, not to pull them down.
A great example of this
is the story of Jesus and the woman taken in adultery.
John 8: 3 – 11.
“And the scribes and
Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her
in the midst,
They say unto him,
Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
Now Moses in the law
commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
This they said, tempting
him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his
finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
So when they continued
asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among
you, let him first cast a stone at her.
And again he stooped
down, and wrote on the ground.
And they which heard it,
being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the
eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in
the midst.
When Jesus had lifted up
himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those
thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?
She said, No man, Lord.
And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."
Jesus often taught about
not judging other.
Matthew 7: 1-3
“Judge not, that ye be
not judged.
For with what judgment ye
judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured
to you again.
And why beholdest thou
the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in
thine own eye?”
A beam is much bigger
than a mote!!
Some wise person has said
that there is only one quality a person must have to correctly judge someone
else. The person needs to be omniscient which means they know EVERYTHING. Not
just what you can see on the outside. But also what is in person’s heart. What
sorrows that person bears. What understanding does he or she have. Someone
might look “good” on the outside (meaning doing the right things) but could be
rotten on the inside (meaning his or hers heart is rotten, nothing good there).
Also, someone might look “bad” (especially to some Christians who enjoy judging
others) but in reality have a loving, kind heart and is doing their very best
to live to the best of his or hers knowledge and understanding.
We need to leave judgment
to God. Period! If we truly are Christians, we need to try to live as Jesus
Christ lived. Yes, we need to teach what God’s laws are. But we should never,
ever be mean or belittling to someone. Our heart should be in the right place:
wanting to do good and spreading the “good news” instead of spreading judgment
and any kind of hate.
Everyone on this earth is
a sinner (which just means that none of us is perfect, we all have our
weaknesses and break God’s laws in some way or another). We cannot have an “I’m
holier than thou” attitude and then say we are Christians.
If we only let perfect
people in the church, every last one of the churches would be empty! We all
need Jesus’ Atonement to cover our sins and misdeeds. We need to be merciful
and kind if we expect God to be merciful and kind to us. Read the Bible all of
you Christians who bash others! Read the Bible! Humble yourself and stop acting
like you know it all and that you are somehow better than someone else! Be
loving! Be kind! Be merciful! Forgive and forget! Love those around you, don’t
put them down! Uplift and edify them, don’t drag them to misery! If you truly
want to be a Christian, then be one! Always ask “what would Jesus Christ do in
this situation?” If your heart is in the right place, you will see that Jesus
would show love, no matter what!
For ANYONE (Christian or
not) who hates ANYONE for ANY reason – STOP IT! Stop and ponder what puts that
hate in your heart. Does it really make you a better person? Do you really
believe that you are a great person when you hate someone? Are you really that
silly that you think you are somehow better than someone else? Because of the
color of your skin, perhaps? Or your sexual orientation, perhaps? Or because
you’re richer, better looking, better dressed, perhaps? Because you believe in
certain religion? Because you’re cool and in the “in crowd” at school?
Please. Don’t be
ridiculous! You are no better than anyone else! Even the homeless person on the
street. You can’t even say that you’re better than them. You haven’t walked in
their shoes and gone through what they have gone through.
God is no respecter of people.
To Him, we are all His children. He loves us ALL! Yes, He wants to teach us His
laws so that we can gain eternal happiness. But God is GOOD and He is LOVE. He
will be more merciful to all of us than we could ever imagine. Yes, there will
be justice too. If you have ever hurt someone and not repented of that, you
will pay for it. Mercy can’t rob justice. But that being said, God loves His
children! He will do all in His power to give us any goodness He can possibly
bestow upon us or we will accept from Him. All of us. Even the meanest of His
children.
When you find yourself
thinking that you are somehow better than someone else – pause for a moment and
try to think more clearly. How does God see that person? What could make that
person act or be certain way? What don’t I know that God knows that would make
me see clearer who this person is? Where does hate come from? Is it ok to hate
someone? Is it ok to hurt someone?
Just grow up people!
Let’s be good to one another. Let’s take care of each other. Let’s uplift and
edify each other instead of tear each other down. Let’s choose love over hate.
I feel like I have so
much to say on this topic. This is going to be a long post.
Now I want to talk about
how the world is treating Christians and others who don’t believe according to
the “popular” belief system. Right now it seems that it’s ok to bash Christians
and others who believe in God and try to live according to the commandments
they feel God has given them. Sitcoms, comedians, you name it, feel it’s ok to
bash believers and belittle them. How does that help anything? You think
because you “tolerate” something, you can “not tolerate” something else? You
think that as long as you speak politically correctly, you can then go ahead
and bash some other group of people? How about throwing mud on a happy young
Mormon (Latter-Day Saint) couple who just got married in the temple? True
story. It has happened many times by people who thus protest what our Church
teaches. Is that ok? Is it ok to ruin their special day because of the way they
believe? Oh, grow up, people! Can’t we just all live in peace and be kind to
everyone? Why is it all of a sudden ok to hate believers and bash them? Even
the ones who have been ridiculous in their own “holier than thou” behaviour?
How does any kind of bashing or
negativeness help this world of ours in any way? Can we just stop the hating
and judging already?
Let the Christians and
other believers believe the way they do.
Let everyone believe the way they do. If you believe differently, sure,
go ahead and try to help someone see things your way. But don’t start spreading
hate and intolerance.
If anyone is violent, abusive or discriminating to anyone else, the law should deal with that person. They
should pay for their crime of hate.
We should guard the
freedom of speech and the freedom of belief. We can’t become tyrants who tell
others how to think or what to believe in. We can all just do our best to live
a good life and if we believe there is some kind of injustice happening, then
sure, speak out. But don’t do it spewing filth and hate. Act like an adult.
Respect others. You don’t have to agree with them but you can still be civil
towards them. If we stop being civil, then what will happen to our
“civilization”? Let me tell you what will happen. Mob behaviour. More hatred.
People will become more like animals instead of human beings.
I feel like I should be
singing the “Imagine” song. Imagine a better world. Imagine a world where there is no
hate. Imagine people living in peace… Call me naïve. Call me a dreamer. But that is
the world I’d like to live in!
The schools here in Canada don’t
seem to have Christmas concerts any more. To be politically correct, religion
is being thrown out of schools. I don’t get it. How does that help tolerance
and understanding? Why can’t we celebrate the various cultures and religions
instead? I have no problem of our child learning about Hanukkah, Kwanza or whatever else someone believes in. How can we
learn to be more tolerant and respectful of others if we don’t learn more about
people who are different than us?
After 9-11, I wondered to
myself about Muslim terrorists and realized I didn’t know much about Muslims. I
couldn’t believe the negative news I heard and wanted to know for myself.
Someone can call themselves Muslims (or Christians…) but they might not
actually be living their religion. I found a Muslim blogger and read about her
faith and her life. The more I learned about her and her faith, the more
respect I had for Muslims in general. Same with Jehovah’s Witnesses. You always
hear snide remarks about them and it drove me nuts. So next time they knocked
on my door, I invited them in and we had some great discussions about faith and
religion. I don’t have to believe the way they do, but I can be understanding
and respectful of them.
Please don’t believe
everything you read or see in media. There are so many lies given to us as
“news”. I’ve read/seen so many false things about my own faith/Church, that I
have learned to become more critical of the media. Find out for yourself if something
you hear is true. Ask yourself “is this really true what they are saying about
these people or is this just a way for them to gain readers by being
sensationalist?” I figured after 9-11 that the terrorists must be their own
group of people as there are millions of Muslim people who live peacefully and
kindly among other people. There are always extremists who make others look bad
by saying they belong to that faith or group. Use your brain people. Believe
that most people on this earth are good and don’t want to hurt others.
But back to the same sex
marriage issue. Yes, I need to speak against same sex marriage because
according to my faith, marriage should be between a man and a woman as ordained
of God. There is a reason for that law. It doesn’t make sense to someone who
doesn’t understand the eternal perspective of things. But I have learned to
trust God’s laws. There is always a reason for them.
I don't have a problem granting people in same sex relationships civil unions. Let the state grant them same benefits with their laws, if they so wish. But don't force churches to perform weddings or it would frustrate freedom of belief and freedom of religion.
By the way, I don't go around telling people that "hey, you're living in sin, did you know that?" I will voice my opinion on same sex marriage (or any other issue I feel strongly about) if there is a discussion going on about it. I have my right to believe the way I do. My beliefs and thoughts on this issue come from my spiritual experiences. We all have different experiences and backgrounds that dictate our belief system.
Rick Warren has said:
“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”
Now, when it comes to me
tolerating people who are in same sex relationships, let me try to explain that
too.
I would never condone ANY
kind of violence or meanness against ANYONE.
I think everyone has the
same right for work (you can’t fire someone because of their sexual orientation
or religious belief, etc.), etc.
Someone once asked me why
I was listening to music that was sung by people in same sex relationship.
Please! If your music is good, I
will listen to it. If your show is good, I will watch it. If your work is good,
I will adore it.
Then you hear the
question “what would you do if your child was in same sex relationship?” Well,
my love for my child wouldn’t change at all! She or he is my child. What they
do doesn’t change that love in any way. Yes, I might wish that they would
believe the way I do (just because I believe that it’s the way to eternal
happiness) but I would continue to support and love my child.
I happen to have loved
ones/friends who are in same sex relationships. So what? I also have friends
who might curse (which I don’t believe in), or might live with someone without
being married (which I don’t believe in), or might steal (which I don’t believe
in), or might talk badly about someone (which I don’t believe in), or might
have an abortion (which I don’t believe in), etc.
I look at myself. I see a
person who I believe “has seen the light” and “understands God’s plan for us”.
Yet, I often falter and don’t live up to my beliefs. I get angry. I speak
crankily. I’m not patient. I get mad at people who drive slowly. I might think
badly of someone or criticize them somehow. If I, who I think believe in God
and His plan for us, falter so easily, then how can I expect people to always
do the right thing when even I can’t? Remember: mote vs. beam. Those people who
have more understanding/knowledge are more responsible than those who don’t.
Think of juvenile and adult courts for example.
When I meet Heavenly
Father after this life, He will probably ask me how much I loved people and how
much kindness did I show them. He will probably ask me if I tried to make the
world a better place somehow. He will probably forgive me for my million
mistakes as He will know that I was trying my best. Which isn’t that great, to
be honest. My best, that is. I’m so far from perfect!! But those are the things
that will matter. Did I live up to the knowledge I had? Did I do my best? Did I
make the world a better place or did I spread hatred and filth? We will all
have to answer that kind of questions.
Anyways, maybe I’m done
rambling now. I just felt like I needed to get these thoughts off my chest. I
have felt so judged because of my beliefs and I felt that I should at least try
to explain how I feel about all this. Maybe people will still judge me for
believing the way I do (and they have the right to do that) but maybe at least
in some small way you understand my point of view better. I have nothing
against people in same sex relationships. They are God’s children, just like
me. But I do need to speak against same sex marriage. There is a reason for
God’s law about same sex relationships. God knows what is best for us. We don’t
have the same eternal perspective that He does.
By the way, this is not
an official statement by the Church I belong to. These are my ideas and my
thoughts. My understanding of this topic.